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TRANSFORMATION SEEING MYSELF THROUGH GOD’S EYES By Cheryl Summers Enrolling in
the PRISMŽ correspondence program was the beginning of an end to my life-long
struggle with obesity. Teasing and
hurtful comments had affected my self- worth - years of dieting affected my
health - and the church we attended in my youth affected my relationship with
God. What I heard was how I would be
punished - not that God was a loving, forgiving God. A statement from our minister that
overeating was just as big a sin as drinking and smoking, made me think God couldn’t
love me. So I turned away from the
church and anything spiritual. I
always felt I needed to grow spiritually, but couldn’t get past the
negative impact of my youth.
Fortunately, my low self-esteem did not have a negative affect on my
personality. I had many friends, did
well in school and later in my career.
But comments regarding my weight still affected my self-worth. Weight was
also a big factor in my marriages.
After losing 64 pounds, I thought my husband would be very proud of
me. But he felt threatened by the
“new me,” and started verbally abusing me and drinking
heavily. We divorced, and I was able
to control my weight even with the stress of being a single parent and
working full-time. I remarried, but he
passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. While caring for him, I again gave myself
permission to use food as my comforter.
About five years later, I met a wonderful man, who, for the first time
in my life, saw me as a beautiful, accomplished woman. I was still struggling with my weight and
self worth, and it was hard for me to believe my weight didn’t matter
to him. We will be celebrating our 10th
anniversary this year, and he continues to tell me what a beautiful woman I
am – inside and outside. I tried
almost every diet imaginable, but never addressed the reasons for
overeating. I became a yo-yo dieter,
losing and gaining 30-60 pounds several times. My diet consisted mainly of frozen diet
dinners, diet sodas, and highly processed “diet” foods with lots
of chemical additives. Later I would
discover my diet played a major role in my severe bouts with fibromyalgia. But
my inspiration came from my sister-in-law, Carol, who was having tremendous
success through the PRISMŽ correspondence course. I asked how she stayed motivated, and she
said, “I just turned my weight problem over to God.” I realized that was the one place I had not
turned to for help. I also enrolled in
the PRISMŽ correspondence program. My
husband could see my determination and he purchased me a portable DVD/CD
player so I could take my PRISMŽ materials on our 3 week
cruise/vacation. We had a fabulous
vacation and both lost weight. I was
changing my thinking about food. It
was for nourishment, not comfort. Following
the PRISMŽ guidelines, I began to experience a feeling of calmness and
peacefulness come over me. The first
time I listened to Marla Ehoff’s song,
“Transformation,” I was overwhelmed, especially as I heard the
words, “Jesus said you are so precious to me.” I began seeing myself as described in the
song, “through God’s eyes” and began addressing the years
of low self-worth and lack of spirituality.
As I shared some of the PRISMŽ lessons with my mother, we began to
have truthful conversations, and were able to heal a lot of the hurts from
the past. She had always told me how
her faith in God had brought her through some of her darkness times. I can now understand how faith and trust in
God can do amazing things. I am
thankful to God for allowing this transformation to be taking place in me. After
reaching my “right weight,” losing 28 pounds and 29 -1/2 inches,
I enrolled in the Continuance Program.
No more yo-yo dieting! Each day
I give praise to God for the beginning of the transformation in my self-worth,
health, and relationship with Him. I
also ask for His guidance as I continue discovering the TRUE ME. The words in the song now have a special
meaning to me: “And in the
mirror through His eyes, the reflection that I see is who I am supposed to
be.” A GOODBYE LETTER TO AN OLD FRIEND By Cindi M.
I wanted to share a letter with you that I wrote this week. If it helps inspire you to write one of your own as you travel this journey – well, Praise the Lord!
Dear Food Addiction,
I am finally ready to say goodbye to you forever. There have been times I didn’t think I could let you go. You have been such a big part of my life for many years. What will I do without you?
When I was sad, you were there to quiet my cries and dam up my tears. When I was angry you were there to shut my mouth and keep the volcano of emotion stuffed down inside of me. When I was lonely you were there to soothe the pain and keep my hands busy. When I was joyous or wanted to celebrate you were there to bring colorful and creative dishes and exciting tastes and give me an excuse to overeat. You sounded so good, and smelled so good, and looked so good, and you tasted great…but you are a deceiver! You have nearly killed me. My blood pressure and my cholesterol levels were skyrocketing, though they were silent. You brought shame and condemnation and guilt very quickly after providing what I thought was comfort. You destroyed my testimony and I even began lying and deceiving myself and others about how much you were in control of my life. The affects of living with you have caused me to shrink from sharing the love of Jesus with others. And that’s the worst thing you could do.
Now, Jesus has set me free from you. The chains of bondage are broken forever. His Word has healed me and although you raise your ugly head at times and try to persuade me again, I declare victory in the strong Name of Jesus my Lord. You see, He is always there, and He does not bring condemnation, or shame or illness. He is my COMFORTER. I will finish this race as He carries me to the goal set before me. And, I will bring others with me. They will see you for who you really are and they too will be delivered by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords from your grip!
What will I do without you? I will live free, enjoy a healthy life, serve my Lord with energy and health and give of myself (now fit for service) to others who need to hear His gospel of peace and freedom. I will run to Him with my sorrows, my pain, my loneliness, my grief, and I will walk in TRUTH not deception all the days of my life.
Goodbye – you are no friend of mine!
In His Grip,
Cindi
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